Tuesday, April 21, 2009

red, black and blue---yet sunny?

Ugh! I've been making some SERIOUS PROGRESS on my Dissertation these past few weeks. Like, really good stuff. Like, I can see the PhD in sight, that diploma gripped within my insanely tight little fist. But, duuuuuuuude.....my work is a fucking MESS right now. Dear God!

At some point in 2008 (it's in the archives....ok, I'll look. hold on......from 6/17/08, "Seeing Red") I posted about my writing process, that early drafts are in red font, then with revision they go to blue, then with full edit, to black and they are "done" until my adWISER (see "Diss Redux" post from March 09) tells me to go back and fix them. Then, the process starts over again. Sounds like fun, yes? Um, no.

In fact, just now as my boyfriend walked past my office and saw me with my head in my hands, he said, "What's wrong, honey?" and my response? "Why didn't I become a gardner?!?!? How did any of you allow me to think that GRAD SCHOOL was a GOOD IDEA!?!?!?!?"

Good stuff. And true to boot. ANYWAY, now that I have all my organizational ducks in a row, I'm piecing together these chapters from my writing strewn all over creation (well, ok...my office). And, it is a multi-colored tye-dye swirl of little letters twinkling on screen before me. *sigh*.

I have time, though. My classes at Fredonia are in the homestretch, and as I've reported in the past (check December 08), I shift the burden of the end of the semester onto my students (cuz that's the type o' Professor I am....ha ha). So, my workload for teaching is lowered. My son is done with vacation and back at school. This weekend will be awesome weather-wise so I am less tempted to go work in the garden, blast tunes and drink beers right now (notice "less tempted" not "fully denying the urge"....must....be...careful). So, yes, yes, this will all come together.

The lesson I am learning right now (jesus i just typed "write now"....get me out of this Chair!) is another one that I am sure someone told me many times before which I heard but didn't really believe so then I didn't listen until it came ringing back right now: Find a spot to be comfortable to stop and move forward or you will continue to rewrite and rewrite and never finish. This means that I am just going to keep writing in red.....plowing through material, cutting and pasting and NOT going back to revise to blue until I reach page 20 of this chapter (The Intro). THEN I will go back. Progress implies a forward motion, not a spinning-of-the-wheels, yes?

So, onward in red even though that makes me feel like I have a lot of work to do ahead of me. I mean, I do, but it's based on work that has already been done. I'm putting the pieces together.....at least I don't have to go find the pieces, I already have them. And they are going together well (right? please say "yes"). Yes they are.

Ok. Back to work.

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