I've got STACKS of books in my office that don't belong to me. I have Buffalo, SUNY Fredonia and UW Madison library books in neatly (artistically? not sure) assorted narrative skyscrapers in my office according to content...one stack is about the New Deal, another about Buffalo, some contribute to my Diss "theories," whatever those'll end up being. One of the greatest lessons/tools I learned in grad school was how to "read" a book in under 30 minutes....start with index and table of contents, browse the intro to see the author's point, find the pages needed for my topic, read back a few and forward a few from that, and BAM! That book makes it into a stack or not. Then, they sit perched, waiting for me to really go digging as the gobbledy-gook I'm writing needs them.
But, in the midst of some are books about Buffalo, a few that fall under the category "Historical fiction." The book City of Light was this, and although recommended because it provided a snapshot of Buffalonia history, was poorly written, thin and somewhat bizarre in plot, and not the best way to spend a few late nights. Felt like the author was trying too hard and left all sorts of nuggets twisting in the winds of Lake Erie. Oh well.
Another is The Birth of the Erie Canal, written in 1960, extremely romantic and "imaginative" with characters' characteristics, but sort of fun to read. That's what I did last evening after getting the kiddo to bed and still having energy (where it came from, not sure. It was a long day....). So, I buzzed through this ol' beauty and enjoyed it. There wasn't a single mention of music at all, but the historian in me often dukes it out with the musician, and I found myself fascinated with the history. What a chore and battle is was to tame western New York (after, of course, wiping it clean of the Five Nations....but that is another story, not fictional at all, and probably not fun to read...). Holy canoli. There is a sketch of the Buffalo Harbor from 1815, and I just can't get my head around it. And, because the downtown library and Historical Society are so ship-shape around here, I've looked at A LOT of historical pictures of The Buff. I think conceptually, I can't imagine being a pioneer--in the literal sense--and viewing this wild mane of a region as it was back then as navigational and livable. Phew.
So, as I weed out distractions, I figure that historical fiction will present itself as a viable way to entertain, invite sleep to come, and still keep me in the pocket of my research when the day is done. Once finished with The Diss, I think I'll expand into other areas of the country.....the California coast, Rockies, New England, etc. Any suggestions welcome!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Distractions, distractions....
One of the things my adWiser suggested (or sort of told me, actually) that would be essential in executing Plan A--turning in a full draft by Jan. 15--was to work on eliminating distractions. Hmmm. Yes, that certainly would help. I nodded, said, "yes, that certainly would help," and smiled tentatively. "I'm serious," she said. "Do you know how much time you spend NOT focusing on this because it is very easy to focus on things you think are important, but are not?" Yes, I do. "Yes, I do," and I smiled tentatively. That conversation happened 10 days ago.
Since then, I've been feeling good about my writing and researching progress, and have been scrutinizing my days, what I "do" in them, and how to clear the clutter. In these 10 days, several things have crossed my path that make this notion of "streamlining" very do-able.
To help spur the above conversation along, my adWiser posed, "For example, I know you love your life in Buffalo and are very busy, but have you had conversations with the people close to you about how your time is going to more focused on YOU for the next three months, and that there may be times you are "unavailable" for various things?" Ummmm, no. So I did that. And it went over well (still have some more people to talk to, but I'm getting there) and everyone so far understands the urgency of my own timeline, what it means to me, what it means to them in the long run and the implications for the short run. "It's OK to say 'no' to things sometimes," said my adWiser. She is right.
Then, Monday, in a moment of downtime and cleaning the house during the 15 minutes I had before my son's bus came roaring down the street, I was sorting through magazines and newspapers and assorted whatnot that had accumulated on my front room table. I found a Rolling Stone magazine with Stephen Colbert on the cover from a few weeks back, and realized I HADN'T READ IT! I asked myself, "What the hell have I been doing that I can't even read my fave mag?" So, I finished my task, still had 7 minutes, and buzzed through the article on him. Interesting guy, but anyway, the way that he approaches his "work" and "life" is that he thinks of two things and two things only: work and joy. If what he's doing doesn't have both, he doesn't do it. And I realized that even as arduous as this Dissertation is, it does--for me, but I'm crazy--fit under both work and joy. Using that model, I've eliminated even more distractions.
THEN, yesterday, after leaving the downtown library, I gave myself 30 minutes to run errands. I loathe running errands. Traffic, in and out of the car, delays, money spent (usually), etc. But, my printer was out of ink (bad), my winter comforter still sat at the dry cleaners from 3 weeks ago (weather's turnin'...need that bad boy) and I had no lettuce for dinner. 30 minutes. Right....my last stop was Office Depot, where at that time of day, should have been empty. I refill my cartridges which saves me money (and is "green") but adds about 5 minutes while they do it. Not today, however. I backlog of printer cartridges sat waiting in a long line before mine. Sheesh. So, I wandered the store pondering the research I just did at the library and browsing things that I neither needed nor could afford. These things happen.
On a shelf near the front sat a book that I have heard of, been interested but never purchased: Tim Ferriss's The Four Hour Workweek. This title appeals to my sense of "work" in that I want ALL of the things I do to be productive yet joyful without losing my soul to someone else's dream. I plunked down in a random on-sale office chair (at least I was in the right place) and started to browse the text while watching and waiting for my little black ink cartridge to make its way to the front of the line.
On page 68, Ferriss says (if you don't know him, give him a glance. His blog is in my favorites here),"Doing something unimportant well does not make it important. Requiring a lot of time does not make a task important." BINGO. More distractions gone.
I don't want to fully admit that I have been inefficient, but I did waste a wholelotta whoo-ha this summer making unimportant things very important, and musing over stupid crap that has nothing to do with my life whatsoever (usually some sort of celebrity-related B.S. or news story, gossip, etc.).
Clearing some distractions has been easier than others. Turning off my email until I am "done" for the day was harder than I thought---what is something "big" happened that I need to know about (it never has, why would I think it would?)? What if someone has something urgent to tell me (that's what phones are for)? How to feel connected to the world while sitting in The Chair writing (make better use of free time and hang with friends instead of dealing with them digitally)? and the excuses go on and on. My world will not end if I don't get my 29 messages of goofiness until 3pm each day, yes? And those "waiting" for my answer (they probably aren't) will get it. After 3pm.
Grocery shopping in bulk at undesirable hours (8:30am) as opposed to convenient (3pm) to avoid a busy store, not cleaning the house until I can do it in a full 15-minute swoop, planning time to do tasks and actually DOING THEM AND GETTING THEM DONE in that time, etc. Interesting. Oh, and no Crack News---CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc. Garbage. If something really big happens, someone will email (and I'll get it at 3pm and the walls won't come a-crumblin' down) or call. It takes a village, afterall....
AND, my brain is ON FIRE lately, and I think it just took that little nudge of confidence, perspective and, of course, a deadline to get it to where it should be. Focused. Not cluttered. Or, at least not as much as before.
So, I took care of some business stuffystuff already, said I wanted to post on M(MotT) today, and hit the library by 11am (if any of you care to join me in the ol' Grosvenor Room and search old newspaper reels from the 1870s...mmmm.......tempting, yes?). I know what I want to find today, will be home by 3pm and ready for the second half of my day. Baby steps. On a clear path, though.
Any more distraction tips are always welcome!
Since then, I've been feeling good about my writing and researching progress, and have been scrutinizing my days, what I "do" in them, and how to clear the clutter. In these 10 days, several things have crossed my path that make this notion of "streamlining" very do-able.
To help spur the above conversation along, my adWiser posed, "For example, I know you love your life in Buffalo and are very busy, but have you had conversations with the people close to you about how your time is going to more focused on YOU for the next three months, and that there may be times you are "unavailable" for various things?" Ummmm, no. So I did that. And it went over well (still have some more people to talk to, but I'm getting there) and everyone so far understands the urgency of my own timeline, what it means to me, what it means to them in the long run and the implications for the short run. "It's OK to say 'no' to things sometimes," said my adWiser. She is right.
Then, Monday, in a moment of downtime and cleaning the house during the 15 minutes I had before my son's bus came roaring down the street, I was sorting through magazines and newspapers and assorted whatnot that had accumulated on my front room table. I found a Rolling Stone magazine with Stephen Colbert on the cover from a few weeks back, and realized I HADN'T READ IT! I asked myself, "What the hell have I been doing that I can't even read my fave mag?" So, I finished my task, still had 7 minutes, and buzzed through the article on him. Interesting guy, but anyway, the way that he approaches his "work" and "life" is that he thinks of two things and two things only: work and joy. If what he's doing doesn't have both, he doesn't do it. And I realized that even as arduous as this Dissertation is, it does--for me, but I'm crazy--fit under both work and joy. Using that model, I've eliminated even more distractions.
THEN, yesterday, after leaving the downtown library, I gave myself 30 minutes to run errands. I loathe running errands. Traffic, in and out of the car, delays, money spent (usually), etc. But, my printer was out of ink (bad), my winter comforter still sat at the dry cleaners from 3 weeks ago (weather's turnin'...need that bad boy) and I had no lettuce for dinner. 30 minutes. Right....my last stop was Office Depot, where at that time of day, should have been empty. I refill my cartridges which saves me money (and is "green") but adds about 5 minutes while they do it. Not today, however. I backlog of printer cartridges sat waiting in a long line before mine. Sheesh. So, I wandered the store pondering the research I just did at the library and browsing things that I neither needed nor could afford. These things happen.
On a shelf near the front sat a book that I have heard of, been interested but never purchased: Tim Ferriss's The Four Hour Workweek. This title appeals to my sense of "work" in that I want ALL of the things I do to be productive yet joyful without losing my soul to someone else's dream. I plunked down in a random on-sale office chair (at least I was in the right place) and started to browse the text while watching and waiting for my little black ink cartridge to make its way to the front of the line.
On page 68, Ferriss says (if you don't know him, give him a glance. His blog is in my favorites here),"Doing something unimportant well does not make it important. Requiring a lot of time does not make a task important." BINGO. More distractions gone.
I don't want to fully admit that I have been inefficient, but I did waste a wholelotta whoo-ha this summer making unimportant things very important, and musing over stupid crap that has nothing to do with my life whatsoever (usually some sort of celebrity-related B.S. or news story, gossip, etc.).
Clearing some distractions has been easier than others. Turning off my email until I am "done" for the day was harder than I thought---what is something "big" happened that I need to know about (it never has, why would I think it would?)? What if someone has something urgent to tell me (that's what phones are for)? How to feel connected to the world while sitting in The Chair writing (make better use of free time and hang with friends instead of dealing with them digitally)? and the excuses go on and on. My world will not end if I don't get my 29 messages of goofiness until 3pm each day, yes? And those "waiting" for my answer (they probably aren't) will get it. After 3pm.
Grocery shopping in bulk at undesirable hours (8:30am) as opposed to convenient (3pm) to avoid a busy store, not cleaning the house until I can do it in a full 15-minute swoop, planning time to do tasks and actually DOING THEM AND GETTING THEM DONE in that time, etc. Interesting. Oh, and no Crack News---CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc. Garbage. If something really big happens, someone will email (and I'll get it at 3pm and the walls won't come a-crumblin' down) or call. It takes a village, afterall....
AND, my brain is ON FIRE lately, and I think it just took that little nudge of confidence, perspective and, of course, a deadline to get it to where it should be. Focused. Not cluttered. Or, at least not as much as before.
So, I took care of some business stuffystuff already, said I wanted to post on M(MotT) today, and hit the library by 11am (if any of you care to join me in the ol' Grosvenor Room and search old newspaper reels from the 1870s...mmmm.......tempting, yes?). I know what I want to find today, will be home by 3pm and ready for the second half of my day. Baby steps. On a clear path, though.
Any more distraction tips are always welcome!
Friday, October 2, 2009
"...It's the final countdown..."
You know I love quoting music lyrics--even in my daily conversations with people--and the above snippet from 80s hair-metal band, Europe, fits my motivations for the next few months. As silly as that song was/is, with the quirky synth line and hairspray and spandex, I find that most people know that song. It refuses to die, and the lead lyric (above) is more fun sung than spoken every time. AND, the song found a new life in the short-lived TV series "Arrested Development," (the best TV ever, for real) as the background music for Gob's ill-fated magic shows. I'm giggling as I think about it. May have to pull out those DVDs later.
Ok, so I'm digressing already. Coffee's kicking in.
Anyway, my trip to Wisconsin over the weekend was exactly what I needed to feel the push and urgency of this Diss project...the never-ending Diss....until NOW. Holy canoli do I have a lot of work to do, but I soaked up some academic ju-ju by meeting with old friends, wandering about the beautiful campus, working in the Wisconsin Historical Society (which has A LOT of interesting Buffalo materials that our fine archives here in The Buff do not possess) and discussing a reasonable plan of final deadlines with my adWiser. She is a realistic person, and told me straight that this is a big, huge, weighty amount of work that I've proposed for myself. But, those of you that know me understand how wonderfully I work with deadlines, so GAME ON.
What I enjoyed most about the weekend, besides seeing some of my old buddies, was being able to finally articulate my project to those that asked about it, and feeling that I have a handle on it. I've been working on this thing for freakin' ever it seems (ok, this is the third year, which is a reasonable amount of time for diss work for a crazybusy person like myself) and I see that its presence and subsequent completion marks a concrete "end," but is really only the beginning. What lies beyond the Diss defense (so far scheduled for May...fingers crossed) is an expanse of possibilities that is probably the MAIN factor behind my renewed optimism and motivation. This project sits on my shoulders like a colossal albatross, squashing the potential to engage in other projects (or money-making efforts) and blocking the view toward the horizon. Time to unwrap it and lift the weight. Heave-ho.
I will probably start using this blog to write about non-Diss stuff as a way to get the brain flowing before whatever is on deck for the day. I've been whining and bemoaning this thing too often here, but.....these things happen. Thanks for hanging in there. I teach interesting classes at my college gig, and they often spawn more questions for me than those that I pose to my students. Which is a good thing. I find cultural events often puzzling, surprising and exhilarating. This forum may be where I ponder them, hit "publish post" and move on. Small nuggets of musicological whoo-ha. Hope you are ready.
I am!
Ok, so I'm digressing already. Coffee's kicking in.
Anyway, my trip to Wisconsin over the weekend was exactly what I needed to feel the push and urgency of this Diss project...the never-ending Diss....until NOW. Holy canoli do I have a lot of work to do, but I soaked up some academic ju-ju by meeting with old friends, wandering about the beautiful campus, working in the Wisconsin Historical Society (which has A LOT of interesting Buffalo materials that our fine archives here in The Buff do not possess) and discussing a reasonable plan of final deadlines with my adWiser. She is a realistic person, and told me straight that this is a big, huge, weighty amount of work that I've proposed for myself. But, those of you that know me understand how wonderfully I work with deadlines, so GAME ON.
What I enjoyed most about the weekend, besides seeing some of my old buddies, was being able to finally articulate my project to those that asked about it, and feeling that I have a handle on it. I've been working on this thing for freakin' ever it seems (ok, this is the third year, which is a reasonable amount of time for diss work for a crazybusy person like myself) and I see that its presence and subsequent completion marks a concrete "end," but is really only the beginning. What lies beyond the Diss defense (so far scheduled for May...fingers crossed) is an expanse of possibilities that is probably the MAIN factor behind my renewed optimism and motivation. This project sits on my shoulders like a colossal albatross, squashing the potential to engage in other projects (or money-making efforts) and blocking the view toward the horizon. Time to unwrap it and lift the weight. Heave-ho.
I will probably start using this blog to write about non-Diss stuff as a way to get the brain flowing before whatever is on deck for the day. I've been whining and bemoaning this thing too often here, but.....these things happen. Thanks for hanging in there. I teach interesting classes at my college gig, and they often spawn more questions for me than those that I pose to my students. Which is a good thing. I find cultural events often puzzling, surprising and exhilarating. This forum may be where I ponder them, hit "publish post" and move on. Small nuggets of musicological whoo-ha. Hope you are ready.
I am!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Autumnal equinox.....
Even-Steven daylight/darkness today. The ol' 12/12. Balance. Equality. The scales tip tomorrow, but today they sit straight.
Summer's gone. And, as much as I love the heat, the garden, the long daylight patterns, summer needs to be over. It was probably the weirdest and least productive summer I have had in YEARS, perhaps, decades....I think I read more books between fifth and six grades than I did this summer. Don't know why, really. I THOUGHT a lot about doing the things I should be actively and physically pursuing, but this summer just had an odd rhythm to it, a very unpredictable, chaotic, lethargic and unsettling rhythm. After all this thinking, that's the best description I can come up with. No wonder I haven't able to write....I can't even think! :=)
My Diss is going to get done, and get done soon. Enough is enough, me thinks. Since my son went back to school (which started the mantra "now I REALLY have time to write"), I haven't written a thing. When I tried to write over the summer, I wasn't focused, couldn't get focused, and churned out some crappy drivel. Which bummed me out. So I stopped.
I'm going to Wisconsin on Thursday to meet with my adWiser about the path I'm on and how to stay on it and get to the end of it with a degree in hand. I'm excited to see Madison and some old friends, and frankly, part of the reason for the trip is to immerse myself in a college town, even if it's only for 3 or 4 days. The energy, the environment, the whole academic package surrounding that city (200,000 with 40,000 students....pretty university-heavy) gives me a jolt of inspiration every time I'm there. Wish me luck.
I re-read my last post in which I claimed to have found my newest version of Dissertation focus. Well, it is sort of what I want to do--the history of the symphony--but, that awareness was just a step that led toward the current focus. After sending my adWiser a blurb related to the whole cultural-history-of-the-symphony-using-Buffalo-as-an-example thing, she promptly responded with one (and only one) very poignant and obvious (but not to me) question (which is why she is fondly called my "adWiser" and not "adviser"): "What happened to the New Deal? I thought your original historical interest was the Great Depression, not the history of the symphony." Ahhhhhh, yes, indeed.
And, so it began. I may not have been writing these past three weeks, but I cleaned my office and sorted through sooo many drafts of this friggin' Diss....and I bought a shredder. Some of my writing had been from so long ago that when I read it, I got even more confused and dismayed. How long have I been working on this, again? How long have I pondered these thoughts? Why am I making this so difficult? Just stop. Stop. Clear the air. Then start again. No distractions. Stop.
And that's when the bulb went off--it is I who is making this hard. Just do it. Good gracious:
My focus in the intersection of government, economics, and the orchestral music tradition as they interacted during the crisis of the Great Depression. Buffalo, NY offers an exemplary case to study as the Buffalo Symphony Orchestra (defunct at the time) received federal relief funds as part of the New Deal's Federal Music Project for its "rejuvenation." This relationship lasted for five years and resulted in the establishment of the city's first permanent orchestra, the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra, which remains the region's premier orchestral organization. Through archives, musicological analysis of events, people and performance, and methodologies from interdisciplinary fields such as economics, American history, folklore theory, and cultural geography, the BPO becomes a lens with which to demonstrate how aspects of the New Deal interacted with musical arts. The under-researched and idiosyncratic circumstances within Buffalo's "symphonic culture" reveal how a century of cultural work performed by professional orchestral musicians in this region finds a foothold, oddly enough, at the end of the Great Depression. It's a history that observes the events in the city but considers the formation of goals, ideals and expectations as part of a nation-wide attempt to establish and replicate this performance tradition appropriate to the intended cultural and geographical terrain. One reason this locality study focuses on Buffalo is due to the rich and varied nature of the story and its source material. But, at the heart of this research is the overarching curiosity of how the orchestral music tradition in America grappled with the rise of "the masses," the public domain of taste, the formation and extension of cultural identity relative to this tradition, the politics and influence of local and national government, and the always-precarious role of money in the professional arts. The latter argument, whose path can be traced back to late-18th century New England, remains an element of American musical life today. The microcosm for this project begins in Buffalo as one city to emerge out of the Great Depression with its symphonic culture not only intact, but stronger than ever before. The legacy created by the BPO, as it celebrates its 69th season today, remains tied to the complex national and local events during the New Deal and the Great Depression of the 1930s.
I feel the scales eager to tip, equinox or not. It's time. Ready, set......*gulp*......GO!!!!
Summer's gone. And, as much as I love the heat, the garden, the long daylight patterns, summer needs to be over. It was probably the weirdest and least productive summer I have had in YEARS, perhaps, decades....I think I read more books between fifth and six grades than I did this summer. Don't know why, really. I THOUGHT a lot about doing the things I should be actively and physically pursuing, but this summer just had an odd rhythm to it, a very unpredictable, chaotic, lethargic and unsettling rhythm. After all this thinking, that's the best description I can come up with. No wonder I haven't able to write....I can't even think! :=)
My Diss is going to get done, and get done soon. Enough is enough, me thinks. Since my son went back to school (which started the mantra "now I REALLY have time to write"), I haven't written a thing. When I tried to write over the summer, I wasn't focused, couldn't get focused, and churned out some crappy drivel. Which bummed me out. So I stopped.
I'm going to Wisconsin on Thursday to meet with my adWiser about the path I'm on and how to stay on it and get to the end of it with a degree in hand. I'm excited to see Madison and some old friends, and frankly, part of the reason for the trip is to immerse myself in a college town, even if it's only for 3 or 4 days. The energy, the environment, the whole academic package surrounding that city (200,000 with 40,000 students....pretty university-heavy) gives me a jolt of inspiration every time I'm there. Wish me luck.
I re-read my last post in which I claimed to have found my newest version of Dissertation focus. Well, it is sort of what I want to do--the history of the symphony--but, that awareness was just a step that led toward the current focus. After sending my adWiser a blurb related to the whole cultural-history-of-the-symphony-using-Buffalo-as-an-example thing, she promptly responded with one (and only one) very poignant and obvious (but not to me) question (which is why she is fondly called my "adWiser" and not "adviser"): "What happened to the New Deal? I thought your original historical interest was the Great Depression, not the history of the symphony." Ahhhhhh, yes, indeed.
And, so it began. I may not have been writing these past three weeks, but I cleaned my office and sorted through sooo many drafts of this friggin' Diss....and I bought a shredder. Some of my writing had been from so long ago that when I read it, I got even more confused and dismayed. How long have I been working on this, again? How long have I pondered these thoughts? Why am I making this so difficult? Just stop. Stop. Clear the air. Then start again. No distractions. Stop.
And that's when the bulb went off--it is I who is making this hard. Just do it. Good gracious:
My focus in the intersection of government, economics, and the orchestral music tradition as they interacted during the crisis of the Great Depression. Buffalo, NY offers an exemplary case to study as the Buffalo Symphony Orchestra (defunct at the time) received federal relief funds as part of the New Deal's Federal Music Project for its "rejuvenation." This relationship lasted for five years and resulted in the establishment of the city's first permanent orchestra, the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra, which remains the region's premier orchestral organization. Through archives, musicological analysis of events, people and performance, and methodologies from interdisciplinary fields such as economics, American history, folklore theory, and cultural geography, the BPO becomes a lens with which to demonstrate how aspects of the New Deal interacted with musical arts. The under-researched and idiosyncratic circumstances within Buffalo's "symphonic culture" reveal how a century of cultural work performed by professional orchestral musicians in this region finds a foothold, oddly enough, at the end of the Great Depression. It's a history that observes the events in the city but considers the formation of goals, ideals and expectations as part of a nation-wide attempt to establish and replicate this performance tradition appropriate to the intended cultural and geographical terrain. One reason this locality study focuses on Buffalo is due to the rich and varied nature of the story and its source material. But, at the heart of this research is the overarching curiosity of how the orchestral music tradition in America grappled with the rise of "the masses," the public domain of taste, the formation and extension of cultural identity relative to this tradition, the politics and influence of local and national government, and the always-precarious role of money in the professional arts. The latter argument, whose path can be traced back to late-18th century New England, remains an element of American musical life today. The microcosm for this project begins in Buffalo as one city to emerge out of the Great Depression with its symphonic culture not only intact, but stronger than ever before. The legacy created by the BPO, as it celebrates its 69th season today, remains tied to the complex national and local events during the New Deal and the Great Depression of the 1930s.
I feel the scales eager to tip, equinox or not. It's time. Ready, set......*gulp*......GO!!!!
Friday, August 28, 2009
all kinds o' things...
the strangest summer in a loooooong time, lots of thoughts, several ambitions, lots of lag time, too. Stayin' home tonight with my son after the first week back "at work" (a.k.a. teaching college students musicology that I *hope* they like and dig uncontrollably)...more soon. I'm back. And, I may have developed an interest in learning to cook......as I said. The strangest summer, perhaps, ever.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
"here I go again on my own..."
Well, not on my own, actually. I received feedback on my 3 chapters from my adWiser and one other member of my committee. So that was a mutual relationship between they and I. Now, however, I'm back in The Chair after a brief hiatus (which was a weeeeee bit longer than I had anticipated, but....) and I'm ready to tackle my next step. Coffee's brewing, books are in neat stacks, desktop cleared and poised. Game on.
What has added an extra week of non-writing and heavy-gardening to my calendar is figuring out WHAT THE HOLY HELL MY NEXT STEP IS! *sigh*
I have said numerous times, to myself and many others, that, "I have finally found the REAL focus of my Dissertation." Please allow me to say it again. A-hem. I have finally found the real focus of my Dissertation...which is a different focus than it was two months ago (these things happen) but one more baby step closer to the finish line. And I have my two Diss readers and the busy antics of my son (who forced me to shift my "Momertator" status to more of "Mom" in order to play with him for 3 weeks, and was worth every second) to thank for that. Hiatus over.
I've always been interested in the elusive ways that music works in society, in the minds of individuals, in the performance of our identities. Those elements of music's cultural work spurred my first subscription of Rolling Stone when I was 12, drove me into libraries and historical texts for decades, pushed me to experiment with sociology, education, American history and academia. How I ended up in musicology is still a mystery (and one to ponder at a later date). Anyway, something was revealed to me just the other morning as I woke to a sleepy, soggy, soaker of a weather forecast. My friendly wake-up call, my voice in my head that hits me like a freight-train sometimes, simply informed me that those interests, the unanswerable but nagging questions of music's role in society, SHOULD lead my Diss as well!!! Of course!!!!! If not, these past two years will end up being a silly stack of crap that reveals little of the silly girl behind it all, me thinks.
If I was younger, wealthier and braver, I'd jump ship from this Buffalo Diss topic and head into different waters. But, I need to get this fucker DONE. For real. I've got a ton of historical research, fascinating nuggets and worthless/useful data about the musical activity in a city that I truly love, and my conscience keeps me on that path. So be it. My work at the National Archives in Washington, D.C., the grant money that supported it, the people who helped me get there and work there.....they keep this ol' gal on the Buffalo party train as well. My archival work focused on the interactions of the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra and the Federal Music Project during the Great Depression. THAT topic has never been explored, written or published by ANYONE, and that accomplishment is mine. And it's a great story (I'm a sucker for juicy controversy, and my current Chapter 5 re-creates that tale from all those documents housed in that nation's capital. Gotta keep on it). Hopefully, someday you'll agree.
So, in light of the above babble, my fascination has shifted a bit. I'm going to try to write a cultural history of the symphony orchestra as it worked in Buffalo relative to "the nation"---WHY it began, what it did and for whom, how it related to bigger, more affluent/cosmpolitan cities, what it did for Buffalo. Why, why, why rather than just how and when. Another caveat that I want to include is the notion of a cultivation of musical "taste" in America and the love/hate relationship to popular trends, different demographical populations, and immigration. That will be the philosophy/sociology/cultural theory angle that I enjoy wading through more often than not. I will end my project's chronology at 1940 as I have planned in the past and leave the following decades for "other projects."
What I've determined is:
Next, I'm going to make a simple and uncreative chronology of events in Buffalo as I know them for Chapter 3 (1861--1919). Already started on that.
Next, the books I'm pouring through for my Lit Review will only deal with the stuff needed for Chapter 3. Then I can double-dip and start adding narrative text and analysis to my data.
Also, instead of writing an "Introduction," I'm opening a new file for thoughts pertaining to my Intro. Organization will come later, but by the time that happens, it should be all there.
As long as this muse stays with me, that is.
Say a prayer, send a vibe, wish me luck. Here goes nothin'......
What has added an extra week of non-writing and heavy-gardening to my calendar is figuring out WHAT THE HOLY HELL MY NEXT STEP IS! *sigh*
I have said numerous times, to myself and many others, that, "I have finally found the REAL focus of my Dissertation." Please allow me to say it again. A-hem. I have finally found the real focus of my Dissertation...which is a different focus than it was two months ago (these things happen) but one more baby step closer to the finish line. And I have my two Diss readers and the busy antics of my son (who forced me to shift my "Momertator" status to more of "Mom" in order to play with him for 3 weeks, and was worth every second) to thank for that. Hiatus over.
I've always been interested in the elusive ways that music works in society, in the minds of individuals, in the performance of our identities. Those elements of music's cultural work spurred my first subscription of Rolling Stone when I was 12, drove me into libraries and historical texts for decades, pushed me to experiment with sociology, education, American history and academia. How I ended up in musicology is still a mystery (and one to ponder at a later date). Anyway, something was revealed to me just the other morning as I woke to a sleepy, soggy, soaker of a weather forecast. My friendly wake-up call, my voice in my head that hits me like a freight-train sometimes, simply informed me that those interests, the unanswerable but nagging questions of music's role in society, SHOULD lead my Diss as well!!! Of course!!!!! If not, these past two years will end up being a silly stack of crap that reveals little of the silly girl behind it all, me thinks.
If I was younger, wealthier and braver, I'd jump ship from this Buffalo Diss topic and head into different waters. But, I need to get this fucker DONE. For real. I've got a ton of historical research, fascinating nuggets and worthless/useful data about the musical activity in a city that I truly love, and my conscience keeps me on that path. So be it. My work at the National Archives in Washington, D.C., the grant money that supported it, the people who helped me get there and work there.....they keep this ol' gal on the Buffalo party train as well. My archival work focused on the interactions of the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra and the Federal Music Project during the Great Depression. THAT topic has never been explored, written or published by ANYONE, and that accomplishment is mine. And it's a great story (I'm a sucker for juicy controversy, and my current Chapter 5 re-creates that tale from all those documents housed in that nation's capital. Gotta keep on it). Hopefully, someday you'll agree.
So, in light of the above babble, my fascination has shifted a bit. I'm going to try to write a cultural history of the symphony orchestra as it worked in Buffalo relative to "the nation"---WHY it began, what it did and for whom, how it related to bigger, more affluent/cosmpolitan cities, what it did for Buffalo. Why, why, why rather than just how and when. Another caveat that I want to include is the notion of a cultivation of musical "taste" in America and the love/hate relationship to popular trends, different demographical populations, and immigration. That will be the philosophy/sociology/cultural theory angle that I enjoy wading through more often than not. I will end my project's chronology at 1940 as I have planned in the past and leave the following decades for "other projects."
What I've determined is:
- Chapter 5 (BPO/FMP) has the most organized text but some holes that now need to be filled due to this shift.
- Chapter 2 has good data about the events in Buffalo, but the organization needs to be revised, some stuff taken out/condensced, more newspaper info from archives in the downtown library, and heavier emphasis of cultural theory and anlaysis of those events. Gulp.
- Chapter 3--which I am supposed to start, like, now--needs the most background historical info about the rise/role of the American symphony orchestra in general. But, I have good (but not enough, yet) data to add Buffalo to that picture.
- Chapter 4--some stuff, not much, know where I'm going, written last.
- Chapter 1--the Introduction---will be written after Chapter 4, a revision of my focus, and Lit Review (which I haven't done).
Next, I'm going to make a simple and uncreative chronology of events in Buffalo as I know them for Chapter 3 (1861--1919). Already started on that.
Next, the books I'm pouring through for my Lit Review will only deal with the stuff needed for Chapter 3. Then I can double-dip and start adding narrative text and analysis to my data.
Also, instead of writing an "Introduction," I'm opening a new file for thoughts pertaining to my Intro. Organization will come later, but by the time that happens, it should be all there.
As long as this muse stays with me, that is.
Say a prayer, send a vibe, wish me luck. Here goes nothin'......
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Boom Boxes and Record Stores
When I bought my house almost two years ago, it was spotless and had obviously been professionally cleaned. That said, it needed a lot of updates. It had been owned by the same family for over 40 years, and as we started to put our own spin on the place, we often discovered little remnants of the people who had lived here (Note: as a historian, I find these nuggets fascinating and forever interesting; as a parent, their presence makes me a little sad, like I'm plowing over all those memories... *sigh*).
One quirk about the garage is a pull-down ladder tucked into the ceiling that leads to the "attic" or crawl space. A full attic would be killer (so much potential!!!), but alas, it's more of a crawl space. It has a rickety ladder that I wouldn't allow my boyfriend (twice my weight) to attempt, but I was so eager to get up there and see it (the property inspector, a little dude, went up during the inspection. I didn't.) that I climbed carefully up into the ceiling within days of moving in. My guess is that because the previous owner was deceased and the house had sat vacant for a while that the realtor just wanted to sell the place and clear the most noticeable clutter......because there was a TREASURE TROVE of stuff up there. Two years later, several items are nestled here and there around the property (I am VERY GOOD at creative recycling), the most notable being a mid-size Panasonic boom box from the mid-1980s that now is the source for the tunes during outdoor work. Rock on!
One downside is that the tape player doesn't work--only the radio does. I still have a storage bin full of tapes in my basement......but anyway, because I listen to my own playlists or "Groove Salad" online radio while writing, I often throw the control of my musical preferences into the waves of local radio while working outside. While my home office is my refuge for writing and thinking and organizing one kind of work, my yard is my refuge away from that and for organizing a different kind of work (making a house into a home, me thinks). So, this lil' radio has become a part of the yard and our lives, in all its retro glory.
Note: I have done A LOT of work outside this year along with my boyfriend, his/my friends, and my son. By myself, I hit 97 Rock, FM 96.9 as it is the city's only station that calls itself "Classic Rock." Their song rotation is my domain--absolutely--being late 1960s through the early 1990s guitar rock, from "Purple Haze" to Pearl Jam (mostly pre-Yield material). The time passes quickly, I can sing along to almost everything, and while weeding and tending to peas, peppers, pots and petunias, my mind wanders to memories, stories, facts, and feelings about this era of our music history. Pretty damn cool, if you ask me.
There is little contestation about the station choice even if other people are around (we just did a HUGE pool remodel, so we had to corrale the troops. Good thing Bud Lite is cheap....). I have come up with two reasons for this: 1. the people we hang out with are our age or thereabouts, and this radio station has been playing "classic rock" since we were in highschool so this is the music of "our generation" through osmosis; 2. it isn't that big a deal. Tunes are tunes. I am aware of MY musical obsessions but certainly don't expect that from everyone. The world needs a healthy balance from all of our oddities, yes? So, again, pretty damn cool.
What's been happening to me over the past month or so, as my Diss work went on hiatus for two weeks and I found "other" things to do cheaply (work around the yard with tunes on), is paying more focused attention on what is played on radio in The Buff. AND, I hear a song and think, "Do I have that one?" so I yank off the garden gloves, and run into my office to check my iTunes folder. If not already imported, I check my CD racks in the front room. Although I have a lot variety and breadth in my music cache, I am baffled by my lack of some. Holy canoli! I need to have this song! How did I miss it? How do I have such gaping holes in my musical socks?
As this process has continiued, I have compiled a list of 64 songs that I love, don't posses, and NEED (perhaps "need" is a bit strong, but as I think about it, no, it is not....) 64!!!!! Holy hell!!! So, I have four choices, really:
1. do nothing and let these songs be the ones that I am dying to listen to when the radio plays them.
Upside: cheap.
Downside: highly satisfying in the moment of listening to them, then highly unsatisfying when I want my ears wrapped around them some other time.
2. ask friends if they possess these goodies and rip them into my iTunes.
Upside: cheap.
Downside: time consuming, perhaps strange/annoying for my friends.
3. buy them one by one on itunes (if they are there).
Upside: no waste. Only the songs I want.
Downside (several): the iTunes "burning" license limits my ability to use these songs on playlists I burn for people; not cheap ($64 and counting); slightly time consuming (but good for a rainy day like today); moderately unsatisfying (as an "object," each song only exists as a digital file in my computer--no art, nothing to "hold on to," digitally permanent yet physically ephemeral)
4. go to a record store and buy them. *GASP* Go a record store!?!?! When the fuck was the last time I did that??? Mon dieu! My heartrate is rising. I LOVE the record store...however....
Downside first this time: very expensive and moderately time consuming (unless it's a rainy day like today), physically inconvenient (Buffalo and suburbs have suffered the "giant sucking sound" of indie record stores and I'm not going to the mall/Target/Walmart to buy music. Period.), OVERWHELMING---I will spend hours and hours spinning like a whirling dervish in the store. It will be a challenge to GET ME OUT of the store once I'm there, and my mortgage payment will evaporate into "Dust in the Wind," for sure.
Upside: undeniably satisfying. Wandering around bins and bins of sonic potential. Holding the goods in my hand, ritualistically trying to get the wrappers off, looking through the CD jacket material, thowing it into the CD player for a spin. Listening. Anytime I want.
Hmmmmmm. My initial reaction to the above list is interesting (to me). When iTunes launched, I was making better money (*sigh*) and gleefully added fun tune after fun tune into my ever-expanding music folder. Click. Got 'em, one by one. And, I have found iTunes to be helpful for accessing historical music material/songs for teaching, but that's the stuff of academics, not obsessions.
No. 1 seems the easiest and most random. What the hell....just let it go.....Yeah, right.
No. 2 seems like more trouble than it's worth---how to canvass friends, how to collect their material, burn it, return it, and risk the raised-eyebrow-factor followed by questions like, "Um, yeah, so Judy, um, how's the Diss coming?" once my motives for this "project" are revealed.
No. 3 elicits a gut reaction that is surprising: "Hell, no." I love technology, but this option unnerves me, like I'd be not only ripping the song (while paying for it), but I'd be ripping off the context of the song (even as I have done this in the past. My own hypocracy is not lost on me...). Classic Rock is what has led me to everything else. For real. I can't just have one song from The Who that I'm missing....I need ALL of The Who. Dig? Oy.
No. 4 seems like the most fun, the most satisfying, and the most invigorating. But, wow. Can it be done?
Today is rainy writing day (Chapter 3), so I'm safely distanced from entering the backyard and turning on the Boom Box. Instead, I am listening to the ambient juiciness of Groove Salad internet radio. Ahhhh. Impulses curbed once more. Credit cards in the other room. Search engines closed. I cannot make a rash decision about something like this, now can I? :)
I'd make this a collective effort and publish the list below, but I think I'll keep the actual "List of 64 Project" close to the hip. For instance, how can I ask someone if they possess Pink Floyd's The Wall on CD without acknowledging THAT I DON'T? Sad, but true. I am riddled with many, many flaws.....
Option 5 would be free file-sharing, the online marketplace spawned by Napster. Grrrrrrrr......
Your thougts or suggestions appreciated. For music obsessives like me--rock on!
One quirk about the garage is a pull-down ladder tucked into the ceiling that leads to the "attic" or crawl space. A full attic would be killer (so much potential!!!), but alas, it's more of a crawl space. It has a rickety ladder that I wouldn't allow my boyfriend (twice my weight) to attempt, but I was so eager to get up there and see it (the property inspector, a little dude, went up during the inspection. I didn't.) that I climbed carefully up into the ceiling within days of moving in. My guess is that because the previous owner was deceased and the house had sat vacant for a while that the realtor just wanted to sell the place and clear the most noticeable clutter......because there was a TREASURE TROVE of stuff up there. Two years later, several items are nestled here and there around the property (I am VERY GOOD at creative recycling), the most notable being a mid-size Panasonic boom box from the mid-1980s that now is the source for the tunes during outdoor work. Rock on!
One downside is that the tape player doesn't work--only the radio does. I still have a storage bin full of tapes in my basement......but anyway, because I listen to my own playlists or "Groove Salad" online radio while writing, I often throw the control of my musical preferences into the waves of local radio while working outside. While my home office is my refuge for writing and thinking and organizing one kind of work, my yard is my refuge away from that and for organizing a different kind of work (making a house into a home, me thinks). So, this lil' radio has become a part of the yard and our lives, in all its retro glory.
Note: I have done A LOT of work outside this year along with my boyfriend, his/my friends, and my son. By myself, I hit 97 Rock, FM 96.9 as it is the city's only station that calls itself "Classic Rock." Their song rotation is my domain--absolutely--being late 1960s through the early 1990s guitar rock, from "Purple Haze" to Pearl Jam (mostly pre-Yield material). The time passes quickly, I can sing along to almost everything, and while weeding and tending to peas, peppers, pots and petunias, my mind wanders to memories, stories, facts, and feelings about this era of our music history. Pretty damn cool, if you ask me.
There is little contestation about the station choice even if other people are around (we just did a HUGE pool remodel, so we had to corrale the troops. Good thing Bud Lite is cheap....). I have come up with two reasons for this: 1. the people we hang out with are our age or thereabouts, and this radio station has been playing "classic rock" since we were in highschool so this is the music of "our generation" through osmosis; 2. it isn't that big a deal. Tunes are tunes. I am aware of MY musical obsessions but certainly don't expect that from everyone. The world needs a healthy balance from all of our oddities, yes? So, again, pretty damn cool.
What's been happening to me over the past month or so, as my Diss work went on hiatus for two weeks and I found "other" things to do cheaply (work around the yard with tunes on), is paying more focused attention on what is played on radio in The Buff. AND, I hear a song and think, "Do I have that one?" so I yank off the garden gloves, and run into my office to check my iTunes folder. If not already imported, I check my CD racks in the front room. Although I have a lot variety and breadth in my music cache, I am baffled by my lack of some. Holy canoli! I need to have this song! How did I miss it? How do I have such gaping holes in my musical socks?
As this process has continiued, I have compiled a list of 64 songs that I love, don't posses, and NEED (perhaps "need" is a bit strong, but as I think about it, no, it is not....) 64!!!!! Holy hell!!! So, I have four choices, really:
1. do nothing and let these songs be the ones that I am dying to listen to when the radio plays them.
Upside: cheap.
Downside: highly satisfying in the moment of listening to them, then highly unsatisfying when I want my ears wrapped around them some other time.
2. ask friends if they possess these goodies and rip them into my iTunes.
Upside: cheap.
Downside: time consuming, perhaps strange/annoying for my friends.
3. buy them one by one on itunes (if they are there).
Upside: no waste. Only the songs I want.
Downside (several): the iTunes "burning" license limits my ability to use these songs on playlists I burn for people; not cheap ($64 and counting); slightly time consuming (but good for a rainy day like today); moderately unsatisfying (as an "object," each song only exists as a digital file in my computer--no art, nothing to "hold on to," digitally permanent yet physically ephemeral)
4. go to a record store and buy them. *GASP* Go a record store!?!?! When the fuck was the last time I did that??? Mon dieu! My heartrate is rising. I LOVE the record store...however....
Downside first this time: very expensive and moderately time consuming (unless it's a rainy day like today), physically inconvenient (Buffalo and suburbs have suffered the "giant sucking sound" of indie record stores and I'm not going to the mall/Target/Walmart to buy music. Period.), OVERWHELMING---I will spend hours and hours spinning like a whirling dervish in the store. It will be a challenge to GET ME OUT of the store once I'm there, and my mortgage payment will evaporate into "Dust in the Wind," for sure.
Upside: undeniably satisfying. Wandering around bins and bins of sonic potential. Holding the goods in my hand, ritualistically trying to get the wrappers off, looking through the CD jacket material, thowing it into the CD player for a spin. Listening. Anytime I want.
Hmmmmmm. My initial reaction to the above list is interesting (to me). When iTunes launched, I was making better money (*sigh*) and gleefully added fun tune after fun tune into my ever-expanding music folder. Click. Got 'em, one by one. And, I have found iTunes to be helpful for accessing historical music material/songs for teaching, but that's the stuff of academics, not obsessions.
No. 1 seems the easiest and most random. What the hell....just let it go.....Yeah, right.
No. 2 seems like more trouble than it's worth---how to canvass friends, how to collect their material, burn it, return it, and risk the raised-eyebrow-factor followed by questions like, "Um, yeah, so Judy, um, how's the Diss coming?" once my motives for this "project" are revealed.
No. 3 elicits a gut reaction that is surprising: "Hell, no." I love technology, but this option unnerves me, like I'd be not only ripping the song (while paying for it), but I'd be ripping off the context of the song (even as I have done this in the past. My own hypocracy is not lost on me...). Classic Rock is what has led me to everything else. For real. I can't just have one song from The Who that I'm missing....I need ALL of The Who. Dig? Oy.
No. 4 seems like the most fun, the most satisfying, and the most invigorating. But, wow. Can it be done?
Today is rainy writing day (Chapter 3), so I'm safely distanced from entering the backyard and turning on the Boom Box. Instead, I am listening to the ambient juiciness of Groove Salad internet radio. Ahhhh. Impulses curbed once more. Credit cards in the other room. Search engines closed. I cannot make a rash decision about something like this, now can I? :)
I'd make this a collective effort and publish the list below, but I think I'll keep the actual "List of 64 Project" close to the hip. For instance, how can I ask someone if they possess Pink Floyd's The Wall on CD without acknowledging THAT I DON'T? Sad, but true. I am riddled with many, many flaws.....
Option 5 would be free file-sharing, the online marketplace spawned by Napster. Grrrrrrrr......
Your thougts or suggestions appreciated. For music obsessives like me--rock on!
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