Couldn't resist using some sort of weather-related metaphor for today. We are gonna have a BEAUTIFUL day here in the Buff and I have scheduled NO TIME to really enjoy it. Until 3:30pm, that is, when my son comes home and we shoot hoops in the driveway or play catch or something until I leave for work. I do hope to open a window or two and recycle the air in my house though. These things need to be done. Yesterday was the first day of April and with it came a little rain. "April showers bring May flowers." Music to my ears, for real.
So the past two weeks have felt like I was living in 5th gear, flying down the highway with the cruise control set at 85 while I used my free hand and feet to seriously multi-task. Between going to Denver for SAM (which was great) and completely revising my Univ Buffalo paper and giving it last Saturday (which was great for me and I hope those who heard it liked it), only today do I feel like things have settled down. Phew.
My "new" Diss feels so good to me right now. I spent parts of Monday and Tuesday creating an entirely new folder of Diss material on my computer (my files and info were a MESS....a true sign for me that things had gotten way out of hand), complete with a page of outline notes for each chapter. Then I created real files--like ones you can actually touch and put things in with your hands) on the floor of my office and sorted all the research docs and copies I have (those were a mess, too....it was timely in many many ways that my revision breakthrough came when it did, me thinks), and TAH-DAH! I have five chapters of material and I know how to complete them. Holy canoli, Batman.
The intro will always be this nebulous gooey combination of written words that will be the last chapter to put to bed. But, the outline is very helpful because it keeps me focused in a very precise and efficient way. I don't have to read through pages of text to know what I'm supposed to be talking about. I just look at the outline and see the logic (well, of course, that's relative 'cuz it's MY logic....so, I may be the only one who sees it, but AT LEAST I CAN SEE IT, yes?) and relate it to the other chapters.
After giving my paper at UB, I spent another chunk of Tuesday editing it into a reader-friendly paper (verses a speaker-friendly paper) so I could send it to my adWISER (see "Diss Redux" post for the origin of her new moniker). I had to do this because when I read a conference paper outloud, I read it (I think) based on how I talk naturally with a bit more professionalism to my voice. But, as I write that conference paper, I do things like I do here in the ol' M(MotT) to remind myself to EMPHASIZE words or stress a certain phrase, like capitals, bolds, italics. So my paper looks very goofy, but I can read it very well. So, I smoothed it out for my adWISER and sent it off to her, which felt good. Haven't heard back, but feel hopeful. She's a busy lady after all......
Anyway, my task for today involves Diss stuff and other stuff. My sleepy son is waking up as I type this. When he leaves in about 45-minutes--and before he returns seven hours later--I have to grade 115 quizzes for my class tonight and assemble my bag for work to include all the stuff I need for a class of that magnitude (we are in the Romantic era....yahoo!!!). That takes awhile, but since I wrote the quiz and have taught this class many times, I constructed the quiz for maximum assessment value AND minimum grading fatigue (I'm sure any math readers could find a fun equation there: MAV + MGF==MJT (more Judy-time)). But grading isn't the only issue.....entering the grades is a science of its own. I have to organize the quizzes alphetically as I grade them in order to enter the grades before a new millenium dawns. So, that's my system. And it sucks doing it. But, that has to get done. Time deadline on that one.
What I'm really eager to do is re-read the 42 pages written for the Diss that were originally the first-half of Chapter 2 and have no become---TAH-DAH--all of Chapter 2. The details of that chapter are pretty much there (professional music making in Buffalo, 1804--1860). The missing links are ideology and comparitive scholarship, like what is all "means" and what work from other, more knowledgable and tenured scholars can corroborate or differentiate my own work. I like doing that, too. So I'm going to start inserting this other "stuff" today. And I have ideas of what that will be!!!! It's like putting the last pieces of a puzzle together. Filling in the holes. Watching the complete image emerge. And oddly enough, I love puzzles.....
ANYWAY, those are the things I need and want to do today. Tomorrow is shot. My son has a half-day of school, I need to go grocery shopping and to the gym=no writing tomorrow. Judy Day. Things that I don't need but want to do today include using the 12 green Miller Chill bottles in my garage to start some spider-plant seedlings (green bottles work better for rooting cuttings, IMHO), laundry, working on my garden, cleaning out my flower beds, and searching through landscaping websites for ideas (my backyard is now carte-blanche since the trees came down). So, I'm in trouble.
But, I'm in The Chair and will fight to stay here in order to complete the two major tasks of the day. And I will do that.
Another sign that I'm in the homestretch.....I put my book "How to Write a Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day" on sale at Amazon on Tuesday. Someone bought it last night. It's already packed and ready to go (ooops, gotta stop at the post office on the way to work today....). I included a little note on the invoice slip to the buyer of this book. It says, "Thanks for buying. Good luck!!!" And I truly mean it. He's gonna need it.....
Spring has sprung!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
"...see some old friends, good for the soul..."
I have quoted lyrics before as a nifty way of leading into my posts. Never before, however, has Bob Seger made his way on board. Might as well say hello to the Silver Bullet Band, as well. Welcome, dudes.
Anyway, I didn't go to Katmandu last week, but I did go to Denver for the Society for American Music conference. And, as I always try to multi-task, I saw a bunch of all friends from my days as a Denverite, some friends from The Buff that live in CO now, and some cool musicologists.
I'm still trying to finish this paper I'm presenting at the University of Buffalo conference THIS SATURDAY (gulp. It's not done. But it will be. Yes. Yes.), so I'll just summarize a few thoughts and head back to the Microsoft Word docs lurking beneath this browser window.
--The weather was amazing, and I am a big fan of and highly sensitive to weather conditions. While I see progress in Buffalo regarding spring-ness, Denver had it all going on. Mid-60s to high 70s, cloudless skies, no rain (which for me was fine until my throat was so dry I could barely speak), and so on. So, good vibes from Mother Nature (note: I just hope that no random passerby driving through the surrounding areas of Denver decides to throw a cigarette butt out of the car and onto the parched landscape. As a Denver native put it, "Oh, it's so dry here. One spark, no doubt about it, we're all gonna BURN!!!!")
--The SAM conference was great. Really great. Such a cool crowd of people. And, I saw several really good papers...one about Motown in England, one about working class Irish/black workers along waterways in the Midwest/Buffalo region (including the Erie Canal!!) and the development of minstrelsy (using art works as examples as well...way cool), one about hip hop in Berlin and all sorts of big and complex issues of race, identity, ownership, territory, space (again, way cool), one about Gershwin's biographer and the implications of communication, expectation and personal investment.....good stuff.
--The SAm conference was great, part 2. I was able to see friends of mine that WERE graduate students have recently become full-on PhDs. This gives me great hope. For real. When I hit the conference circuit back in 2002 in search of a good PhD program in musicology, I met some TREMENDOUS grad students around the country that I feel priviledged to still connect with. Many have kids now (or even did then) and I find myself as one of many Momertators (and Dadertators) trying to sort out the messiness of creating the "whole life"--work, research, poverty (academic-style), and family. Ahhhhhhh. It was very healthy. I have faith.
--The SAM conference was great, part 3. The hotel bar (yes, usually cheesy, but with a captive audience, they couldn't fail) displayed continuous college basketball while providing cheap and refreshing beverages and an all-day NCAA happy hour. My heart feels warm and fuzzy just thinking about it (oh, I'm second-to-last in my bracket pool. Of almost 200 people. *Sigh* Yes, I'll stick to academia).
--Two amazing friends from Buffalo now live near Denver. On Saturday, after two days of conferencing, I met up with them for the day. This may have been the best way to end such a trip because it just made everything seem like it came back around again, like a big loop of my life not feeling so fragile and breakable anymore. Thanks Molly (and Shawn) and Tommy. I have faith.
--We can call it a recession, but there was little evidence of this in Denver. Molly and I strolled the streets of downtown on Sunday only to find no parking and every bar/restaurant PACKED with people. Again, very refreshing (compared to how winter/spring behaves in The Buff) and again, I have faith.
I will finish this degree and my goal is to do so in time for the next SAM conference in Ottawa (OTTAWA!?!?! What the holy hell? Well, at least I can drive there.....). This way, it would be my last conference as a student. For real and forever. "...there I go, turn the page...."
OK---Back to work. And that feels REALLY good to say.
Anyway, I didn't go to Katmandu last week, but I did go to Denver for the Society for American Music conference. And, as I always try to multi-task, I saw a bunch of all friends from my days as a Denverite, some friends from The Buff that live in CO now, and some cool musicologists.
I'm still trying to finish this paper I'm presenting at the University of Buffalo conference THIS SATURDAY (gulp. It's not done. But it will be. Yes. Yes.), so I'll just summarize a few thoughts and head back to the Microsoft Word docs lurking beneath this browser window.
--The weather was amazing, and I am a big fan of and highly sensitive to weather conditions. While I see progress in Buffalo regarding spring-ness, Denver had it all going on. Mid-60s to high 70s, cloudless skies, no rain (which for me was fine until my throat was so dry I could barely speak), and so on. So, good vibes from Mother Nature (note: I just hope that no random passerby driving through the surrounding areas of Denver decides to throw a cigarette butt out of the car and onto the parched landscape. As a Denver native put it, "Oh, it's so dry here. One spark, no doubt about it, we're all gonna BURN!!!!")
--The SAM conference was great. Really great. Such a cool crowd of people. And, I saw several really good papers...one about Motown in England, one about working class Irish/black workers along waterways in the Midwest/Buffalo region (including the Erie Canal!!) and the development of minstrelsy (using art works as examples as well...way cool), one about hip hop in Berlin and all sorts of big and complex issues of race, identity, ownership, territory, space (again, way cool), one about Gershwin's biographer and the implications of communication, expectation and personal investment.....good stuff.
--The SAm conference was great, part 2. I was able to see friends of mine that WERE graduate students have recently become full-on PhDs. This gives me great hope. For real. When I hit the conference circuit back in 2002 in search of a good PhD program in musicology, I met some TREMENDOUS grad students around the country that I feel priviledged to still connect with. Many have kids now (or even did then) and I find myself as one of many Momertators (and Dadertators) trying to sort out the messiness of creating the "whole life"--work, research, poverty (academic-style), and family. Ahhhhhhh. It was very healthy. I have faith.
--The SAM conference was great, part 3. The hotel bar (yes, usually cheesy, but with a captive audience, they couldn't fail) displayed continuous college basketball while providing cheap and refreshing beverages and an all-day NCAA happy hour. My heart feels warm and fuzzy just thinking about it (oh, I'm second-to-last in my bracket pool. Of almost 200 people. *Sigh* Yes, I'll stick to academia).
--Two amazing friends from Buffalo now live near Denver. On Saturday, after two days of conferencing, I met up with them for the day. This may have been the best way to end such a trip because it just made everything seem like it came back around again, like a big loop of my life not feeling so fragile and breakable anymore. Thanks Molly (and Shawn) and Tommy. I have faith.
--We can call it a recession, but there was little evidence of this in Denver. Molly and I strolled the streets of downtown on Sunday only to find no parking and every bar/restaurant PACKED with people. Again, very refreshing (compared to how winter/spring behaves in The Buff) and again, I have faith.
I will finish this degree and my goal is to do so in time for the next SAM conference in Ottawa (OTTAWA!?!?! What the holy hell? Well, at least I can drive there.....). This way, it would be my last conference as a student. For real and forever. "...there I go, turn the page...."
OK---Back to work. And that feels REALLY good to say.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Baby Steps
After my rather over-blown yet somewhat cathartic Dissertation experience last week (see previous post), I gathered my wits and set down some guidelines. Two things drive my latest task: I leave for the Society for American Music conference in Denver one week from today; I present a paper on my Diss research at the University of Buffalo Grad Student Conference 17 days from today. Neither of these things, incidentally, am I overly prepared for.
The current task is writing a 10-page paper that will take about 20 minutes to read at the UB conference. I think I'll have a hand-out as well (no idea how many to anticipate in the audience....note to self: find out). The topic is "The BPO Gets a New Deal" (BPO=Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra). When I sent in the proposal, this topic was a smaller version of one chapter of my Diss. Since the whole revision and whatnot, this topic IS my Diss. Hmm.
Now that my Diss seems reasonably reasonable (love THAT grammar?!?!) in that I have a plan that doesn't make my stomach burn, I feel good about it. Part of my self-analysis from last week came as a result of having to get this smaller paper together. I REALLY like this topic now. Ten pages should be nothing.
Hummpph. Sure. But, where to begin? Such a small about of info for this particular task compared to what I have for the whole Diss. It's like a summary of all of my work, but I want it to be good and interesting and generate some Q & A afterwards.....the usual. AND, it has to have some sort of conclusion which I HAVEN'T gotten to in my Diss. So, this will be taking up all of my time until I leave for Denver in ONE WEEK. Plus other goodies always rolling around these parts that eat away at precious minutes with the verve and tenacity of a soon-to-be caterpillar run amok in my soon-be-blooming garden. These things happen, don't they....
But, this task DOES seem manageable and I am starting it right now. I'll keep ya posted. And, if anyone is interested in attending the paper, I'll post the schedule when it becomes available.
Little things. Baby steps. Small tasks even if they seem large. 10 pages. Got it.
The current task is writing a 10-page paper that will take about 20 minutes to read at the UB conference. I think I'll have a hand-out as well (no idea how many to anticipate in the audience....note to self: find out). The topic is "The BPO Gets a New Deal" (BPO=Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra). When I sent in the proposal, this topic was a smaller version of one chapter of my Diss. Since the whole revision and whatnot, this topic IS my Diss. Hmm.
Now that my Diss seems reasonably reasonable (love THAT grammar?!?!) in that I have a plan that doesn't make my stomach burn, I feel good about it. Part of my self-analysis from last week came as a result of having to get this smaller paper together. I REALLY like this topic now. Ten pages should be nothing.
Hummpph. Sure. But, where to begin? Such a small about of info for this particular task compared to what I have for the whole Diss. It's like a summary of all of my work, but I want it to be good and interesting and generate some Q & A afterwards.....the usual. AND, it has to have some sort of conclusion which I HAVEN'T gotten to in my Diss. So, this will be taking up all of my time until I leave for Denver in ONE WEEK. Plus other goodies always rolling around these parts that eat away at precious minutes with the verve and tenacity of a soon-to-be caterpillar run amok in my soon-be-blooming garden. These things happen, don't they....
But, this task DOES seem manageable and I am starting it right now. I'll keep ya posted. And, if anyone is interested in attending the paper, I'll post the schedule when it becomes available.
Little things. Baby steps. Small tasks even if they seem large. 10 pages. Got it.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Dissertation Redux
This is a long one. Please bear with me....
Welllllllllll, it's been a wild and woolly month in The Chair (see post 7/10/08). I don't remember last winter being so difficult. While the seasons come as predicted each year, the various components of my life always change. So, while EVERY winter in The Buff sucks--the luster of snow and coziness and hunkering down diminishes exponentially through Jan and Feb--this one seems outrageously unbearable. And, I haven't been on my game enough to confront and conquer the antsy-ness, the boredom, the darkness (sunshine-wise), the chill in the air....and these elements seep and crawl into many many many others, at least for me.
I haven't progressed on my Dissertation in any fashion that accounts for how much time I have to work on it. For real. It's a writing project that is different than any other I've undertaken, including my Masters theses (I wrote two). I have many ideas of "books" that I want to write OTHER THAN this one. In a sense, that's what this Diss is, a research-based, academically appropriate 250-page tome that reflects my graduate education in musicology. But I have to get this one done before I gently lift the lid to the Idea Box (see post 2/11/09) and REALLY get going on some good stuff. A Diss is a Diss. It's not fun, but it has to get done.
It's not to say that my Diss won't be good. I think it will, actually, and for the most part I've had faith in myself to make it of good quality, reflective of my character, and a valid contribution to the field of musicology. And sometimes, it has been fun. I like writing. Thinking.
Problem: about two months ago, I lost all interest in it. Actually, I lost interest in A LOT of things. Simultaneously, I could feel something brewing that gave me anxiety---I began thinking and feeling that I was not going to be able to finish The Diss. Like, actually incapable. I couldn't grasp the point of it. It/I had lost focus, had lost interest, had lost that flash of ambition that (in my mind) screams, "hell, yeah. Let's do this." Gone, lost, but not forgotten. Sitting there, in my office filled with books and notes and deadlines. Until this Diss is finished, I have to pay tuition every semester AND I'm in an academic holding pattern--not really hirable at the tenure-track level, destined to remain in Limbo Land hustling part-time goofy jobs, eeking out a living like I have been FOREVER, never getting it done. Quitting. Failing.
So I sat on these feelings for awhile, not really letting on to people around me what was happening, faking it:
"Things are good!" (lie)
"Oh, still workin' on it. Making progress, though."(bigger lie).
"I love having the time at home to write." (biggest lie)
"Everything's great! Just a little tired, that's all." (goin' straight to hell for that one).
It was noticeable, however, but I would just sigh and glibly utter, "Can't wait til spring!" (truth that hides the lies). blah blah blah.
When I was younger, I wouldn't have sat on this kind of uncomfortable, awful, edgy, embarrassed, discombobulated kind of existence for very long, or at least as long as I have so far. I would have said, "well, insert quick and final decision here and that's that." I have had to learn patience---yes, my friends reading this are nodding, yes----and it don't come easy to this lil' Taurus Bull. Instead of snapping my fingers, jutting out my hip (with one hand on) and swaggering toward some "new" plan that was quick and easy, I have--since mid-January--been watching myself, listening to myself, watching the world, listening to the world. And waiting. Waiting.
It's been excruciating.
But, then....something changed...perhaps, along with the sunshine last week. And the Beethoven (see post 2/26/09). And my son's continuous hugs and hopes and dreams. And my mother's unflagging support. And whatever the fuck else. A crack formed in all of this, a crack with some light beyond it. The anxiety began to wither away. I slept better, and not during the day (napping became a regular activity around here). My brain started to focus better. An idea. I had one!
I approached my Dissertation adviser with this "idea" that suddenly HIT me. Like a real hit. I could feel it mentally and physically. It had a voice. IT WOKE ME OUT OF A SOUND SLEEP (which is like waking the dead). And idea. I had been waiting, waiting, waiting for it. It found me, and I heard it.
An aside: there is no "How to Write a Dissertation" manual. Authors have made money selling books with such titles, and while I've actually read them, there is no accounting for each individual's Dissertation process. Period. I've already sold back many of those books.
Anyway, I should really call my Dissertation adviser my adWISEr. She is no joke. She has told me from DAY ONE that this process has no rules (except for getting it done). That I have to know myself better than I ever have (which, of COURSE, I thought I already did). That there will be many lessons learned and unexpected hurdles to leap. There is no mold. No path to take. I have to do it on my terms.
When I told her of my recently-formulated new idea (I called her after writing down my thoughts in a prepared speech-like thing so I could actually make sense....and slamming two beers....see? I do know myself!!!), her comment was, "Congratulations. You did it. You crossed that barrier and you needed to. I could have told you what needed to be fixed, but that wouldn't have been any fun, would it?" I had feared for the worst, of being told I was really destined to simply not be able to do this after all, that I might as well throw in the towel because this idea could never work as a PhD Dissertation in Musicology.
Not in a long time have a felt the simultaneous need to cry, vomit, and belly-laugh as I did after our conversation.
The Idea (in a nutshell):
--my ORIGINAL Diss proposal contains the evidence needed to support a book about three of Buffalo's predominant music cultures as they negotiated the Great Depression and New Deal programs. They are: the symphonic culture (mainly the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra), the Polish community and issues of assimilation/heritage and "Americanization," and the jazz community and issues of travel, cultural space, racism and class. The title is "Performing the Nation: Music Cultures in Buffalo, New York, 1925-1940." This proposal contains grand theories and sweeping ideologies that meld music performance, economics and cultural geography. Five chapters. 300 pages. This is HUGE project working with archival materials, various libraries, people, .....I mean, just huge. The most and best work has been on the BPO chapter and the "Brief History of Music in Buffalo, 1804--1925" chapter. So, still A LOT of work ahead.
--my REVISED Diss proposal contains the evidence needed to support a book about how the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra wrestled its way through the Great Depression and New Deal and emerged successfully (and remains today). The REVISED title is, "Performing the Nation: The Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra Gets a New Deal." This proposal contains good theories and relevant ideologies that meld music performance, politics, economics, and cultural geography. Five chapters. 200 pages. This is a NARROW project that provides a lens (the BPO) with which to view and blend other passions and interests of mine: archival materials (already secured from the National Archives last November), economics, the Great Depression, cultural theory, and the idiosyncracies of Buffalo's musical past. A specific focus that I AM EXCITED ABOUT. With all of these changes, my Diss is half done. I could finish it this summer. For real.
This may not sound as dramatic of a lesson-learned as I made it out to be. But, it NEVER OCCURRED to me to lop off huge portions of my proposed idea. I mean, I committed to that topic. I had to do it, right?
Nope. The "Judy's Manual for Writing a PhD Dissertation" now contains a valuable lesson that my adWISEr forced me to learn on my own, as painful as it was: stop and listen. Never be afraid of change. Be patient. Never feel like change is a failure of the present. Be passionate. Don't compromise.
The REVISED Diss makes me very happy. Finally.
And, the sun is out.
Welllllllllll, it's been a wild and woolly month in The Chair (see post 7/10/08). I don't remember last winter being so difficult. While the seasons come as predicted each year, the various components of my life always change. So, while EVERY winter in The Buff sucks--the luster of snow and coziness and hunkering down diminishes exponentially through Jan and Feb--this one seems outrageously unbearable. And, I haven't been on my game enough to confront and conquer the antsy-ness, the boredom, the darkness (sunshine-wise), the chill in the air....and these elements seep and crawl into many many many others, at least for me.
I haven't progressed on my Dissertation in any fashion that accounts for how much time I have to work on it. For real. It's a writing project that is different than any other I've undertaken, including my Masters theses (I wrote two). I have many ideas of "books" that I want to write OTHER THAN this one. In a sense, that's what this Diss is, a research-based, academically appropriate 250-page tome that reflects my graduate education in musicology. But I have to get this one done before I gently lift the lid to the Idea Box (see post 2/11/09) and REALLY get going on some good stuff. A Diss is a Diss. It's not fun, but it has to get done.
It's not to say that my Diss won't be good. I think it will, actually, and for the most part I've had faith in myself to make it of good quality, reflective of my character, and a valid contribution to the field of musicology. And sometimes, it has been fun. I like writing. Thinking.
Problem: about two months ago, I lost all interest in it. Actually, I lost interest in A LOT of things. Simultaneously, I could feel something brewing that gave me anxiety---I began thinking and feeling that I was not going to be able to finish The Diss. Like, actually incapable. I couldn't grasp the point of it. It/I had lost focus, had lost interest, had lost that flash of ambition that (in my mind) screams, "hell, yeah. Let's do this." Gone, lost, but not forgotten. Sitting there, in my office filled with books and notes and deadlines. Until this Diss is finished, I have to pay tuition every semester AND I'm in an academic holding pattern--not really hirable at the tenure-track level, destined to remain in Limbo Land hustling part-time goofy jobs, eeking out a living like I have been FOREVER, never getting it done. Quitting. Failing.
So I sat on these feelings for awhile, not really letting on to people around me what was happening, faking it:
"Things are good!" (lie)
"Oh, still workin' on it. Making progress, though."(bigger lie).
"I love having the time at home to write." (biggest lie)
"Everything's great! Just a little tired, that's all." (goin' straight to hell for that one).
It was noticeable, however, but I would just sigh and glibly utter, "Can't wait til spring!" (truth that hides the lies). blah blah blah.
When I was younger, I wouldn't have sat on this kind of uncomfortable, awful, edgy, embarrassed, discombobulated kind of existence for very long, or at least as long as I have so far. I would have said, "well, insert quick and final decision here and that's that." I have had to learn patience---yes, my friends reading this are nodding, yes----and it don't come easy to this lil' Taurus Bull. Instead of snapping my fingers, jutting out my hip (with one hand on) and swaggering toward some "new" plan that was quick and easy, I have--since mid-January--been watching myself, listening to myself, watching the world, listening to the world. And waiting. Waiting.
It's been excruciating.
But, then....something changed...perhaps, along with the sunshine last week. And the Beethoven (see post 2/26/09). And my son's continuous hugs and hopes and dreams. And my mother's unflagging support. And whatever the fuck else. A crack formed in all of this, a crack with some light beyond it. The anxiety began to wither away. I slept better, and not during the day (napping became a regular activity around here). My brain started to focus better. An idea. I had one!
I approached my Dissertation adviser with this "idea" that suddenly HIT me. Like a real hit. I could feel it mentally and physically. It had a voice. IT WOKE ME OUT OF A SOUND SLEEP (which is like waking the dead). And idea. I had been waiting, waiting, waiting for it. It found me, and I heard it.
An aside: there is no "How to Write a Dissertation" manual. Authors have made money selling books with such titles, and while I've actually read them, there is no accounting for each individual's Dissertation process. Period. I've already sold back many of those books.
Anyway, I should really call my Dissertation adviser my adWISEr. She is no joke. She has told me from DAY ONE that this process has no rules (except for getting it done). That I have to know myself better than I ever have (which, of COURSE, I thought I already did). That there will be many lessons learned and unexpected hurdles to leap. There is no mold. No path to take. I have to do it on my terms.
When I told her of my recently-formulated new idea (I called her after writing down my thoughts in a prepared speech-like thing so I could actually make sense....and slamming two beers....see? I do know myself!!!), her comment was, "Congratulations. You did it. You crossed that barrier and you needed to. I could have told you what needed to be fixed, but that wouldn't have been any fun, would it?" I had feared for the worst, of being told I was really destined to simply not be able to do this after all, that I might as well throw in the towel because this idea could never work as a PhD Dissertation in Musicology.
Not in a long time have a felt the simultaneous need to cry, vomit, and belly-laugh as I did after our conversation.
The Idea (in a nutshell):
--my ORIGINAL Diss proposal contains the evidence needed to support a book about three of Buffalo's predominant music cultures as they negotiated the Great Depression and New Deal programs. They are: the symphonic culture (mainly the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra), the Polish community and issues of assimilation/heritage and "Americanization," and the jazz community and issues of travel, cultural space, racism and class. The title is "Performing the Nation: Music Cultures in Buffalo, New York, 1925-1940." This proposal contains grand theories and sweeping ideologies that meld music performance, economics and cultural geography. Five chapters. 300 pages. This is HUGE project working with archival materials, various libraries, people, .....I mean, just huge. The most and best work has been on the BPO chapter and the "Brief History of Music in Buffalo, 1804--1925" chapter. So, still A LOT of work ahead.
--my REVISED Diss proposal contains the evidence needed to support a book about how the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra wrestled its way through the Great Depression and New Deal and emerged successfully (and remains today). The REVISED title is, "Performing the Nation: The Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra Gets a New Deal." This proposal contains good theories and relevant ideologies that meld music performance, politics, economics, and cultural geography. Five chapters. 200 pages. This is a NARROW project that provides a lens (the BPO) with which to view and blend other passions and interests of mine: archival materials (already secured from the National Archives last November), economics, the Great Depression, cultural theory, and the idiosyncracies of Buffalo's musical past. A specific focus that I AM EXCITED ABOUT. With all of these changes, my Diss is half done. I could finish it this summer. For real.
This may not sound as dramatic of a lesson-learned as I made it out to be. But, it NEVER OCCURRED to me to lop off huge portions of my proposed idea. I mean, I committed to that topic. I had to do it, right?
Nope. The "Judy's Manual for Writing a PhD Dissertation" now contains a valuable lesson that my adWISEr forced me to learn on my own, as painful as it was: stop and listen. Never be afraid of change. Be patient. Never feel like change is a failure of the present. Be passionate. Don't compromise.
The REVISED Diss makes me very happy. Finally.
And, the sun is out.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Beethoven at the BPO
I attended the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra last Saturday night. I've been thinking about it ever since. As I've come to realize, this singular event collapsed SEVERAL different threads and energies swirling around me lately. I think only by writing through them here at M(MotT) can I finally bring it all together. Ready?
I don't remember the first time I ever attended a "symphony" concert. I have had college-aged students attend such events for the first time ever as part of their grade in our course. Obviously, they would remember that. I don't. It was definitely before college, but I have no recollection of where, with whom, why, etc. It was not a common activity in my family, none of my close friends were into music like I was (meaning heavy private lessons, practice, performances, etc. as a kid)...I just can't recall. But, I love the sound of a live orchestra. As a pianist, I'm always astounded by the "group" element of an orchestra. My musical training was highly individualistic...practicing alone, performing solo, talking only to myself at the piano, etc. I could, alone, play the whole piece. It takes almost 80 musicians in an orchestra to perform their music, one line and instrument at a time simultaneously....Interesting that I can't remember my "first" professional orchestra concert.
I used to attend these events a lot, especially in Denver, but also in Madison. I loved it. Since moving back to Buffalo 1.75 years ago, however, I have not stepped foot into Kleinhans Music Hall for a BPO concert. Not a single one! Now, I can attribute this to all sorts of excuses--babysitters, cost, finding people to go with, negotiating downtown Buffalo (this is very lame as I love urban settings, but living in the 'burbs has made me wimpy, me thinks), and so on. Several concerts were very powerful--chills, tears, euphoria, etc. It's been too long since I participated in these experiences.
Classical "art" music has taken a back seat to my habits and hobbies since leaving graduate school and moving to The Buff. In fact, I have realized that MUCH of my music listening has taken a back seat as I have tried to resume/instigate a "normal" life 'round these parts. I teach piano lessons but don't practice much on my own. I teach about pop music but find my days steeped in silence while I write. I teach about classical music but rarely play it in my home (or, obviously, attend concerts). I think it but don't feel it. What the hell is going on with me?
I haven't gone somewhere alone in a very long, long time. I mean, yes, the grocery store, errands, all that bullshit. But like, an adventure on my own. And I attended the BPO alone. It was a last minute decision due to other plans being cancelled. My son was already at my mom's for the night, and I just suddenly remembered that pianist Andre Watts was performing Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5, nicknamed "the Emporer," with the BPO. I immediately hummed the main theme in my head and remembered that that piece is a MONSTER. And I love Watts. So, off I went. No child, no boyfriend, no one to take care of or deal with. Phone off. Just me. It was awesome.
BPO conductor JoAnne Falleta dedicated the performance of the Beethoven "Emperor" concerto to the victims/families/community affected by the Continental plane crash in Cheektowaga two weeks ago. Watts is an astounding, suburb and confident pianist. I'm really speachless as far as how to describe the 40-minutes or so that it took for the "Emperor" to resound through the hall. It was like I was transfixed, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. It felt like I was in another world! I thought writing about it would help, but maybe the whole notion of "words can't describe it" applies here.
I saw this piece performed before in Denver. I can't remember the pianist, though (male, but the name alludes me right now). I did not feel the same way about that experience as I do about the one five days ago. And I think that's the point. I'm not the same person. I'm not negotiating the same things. And I'm not doing the same things and some of them--like striking out on more adventures and doing more things that I truly enjoy--need to be done more often.
I felt like an "Emperoress" walking out of Kleinhans the other night! Whoo-whee! There was power in that performance and it found me, someone who on that particular day and for all kinds of particular reasons, needed some recharging. I pictured Beethoven grabbing me by the shoulders, shaking me, scowling and shouting, "Wake up! Wake up! Stand up! Shout! Smile! WAKE UP!" It was wild. I can't describe it any better than that, I'm afraid.
And I hope I never forget it.
I don't remember the first time I ever attended a "symphony" concert. I have had college-aged students attend such events for the first time ever as part of their grade in our course. Obviously, they would remember that. I don't. It was definitely before college, but I have no recollection of where, with whom, why, etc. It was not a common activity in my family, none of my close friends were into music like I was (meaning heavy private lessons, practice, performances, etc. as a kid)...I just can't recall. But, I love the sound of a live orchestra. As a pianist, I'm always astounded by the "group" element of an orchestra. My musical training was highly individualistic...practicing alone, performing solo, talking only to myself at the piano, etc. I could, alone, play the whole piece. It takes almost 80 musicians in an orchestra to perform their music, one line and instrument at a time simultaneously....Interesting that I can't remember my "first" professional orchestra concert.
I used to attend these events a lot, especially in Denver, but also in Madison. I loved it. Since moving back to Buffalo 1.75 years ago, however, I have not stepped foot into Kleinhans Music Hall for a BPO concert. Not a single one! Now, I can attribute this to all sorts of excuses--babysitters, cost, finding people to go with, negotiating downtown Buffalo (this is very lame as I love urban settings, but living in the 'burbs has made me wimpy, me thinks), and so on. Several concerts were very powerful--chills, tears, euphoria, etc. It's been too long since I participated in these experiences.
Classical "art" music has taken a back seat to my habits and hobbies since leaving graduate school and moving to The Buff. In fact, I have realized that MUCH of my music listening has taken a back seat as I have tried to resume/instigate a "normal" life 'round these parts. I teach piano lessons but don't practice much on my own. I teach about pop music but find my days steeped in silence while I write. I teach about classical music but rarely play it in my home (or, obviously, attend concerts). I think it but don't feel it. What the hell is going on with me?
I haven't gone somewhere alone in a very long, long time. I mean, yes, the grocery store, errands, all that bullshit. But like, an adventure on my own. And I attended the BPO alone. It was a last minute decision due to other plans being cancelled. My son was already at my mom's for the night, and I just suddenly remembered that pianist Andre Watts was performing Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5, nicknamed "the Emporer," with the BPO. I immediately hummed the main theme in my head and remembered that that piece is a MONSTER. And I love Watts. So, off I went. No child, no boyfriend, no one to take care of or deal with. Phone off. Just me. It was awesome.
BPO conductor JoAnne Falleta dedicated the performance of the Beethoven "Emperor" concerto to the victims/families/community affected by the Continental plane crash in Cheektowaga two weeks ago. Watts is an astounding, suburb and confident pianist. I'm really speachless as far as how to describe the 40-minutes or so that it took for the "Emperor" to resound through the hall. It was like I was transfixed, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. It felt like I was in another world! I thought writing about it would help, but maybe the whole notion of "words can't describe it" applies here.
I saw this piece performed before in Denver. I can't remember the pianist, though (male, but the name alludes me right now). I did not feel the same way about that experience as I do about the one five days ago. And I think that's the point. I'm not the same person. I'm not negotiating the same things. And I'm not doing the same things and some of them--like striking out on more adventures and doing more things that I truly enjoy--need to be done more often.
I felt like an "Emperoress" walking out of Kleinhans the other night! Whoo-whee! There was power in that performance and it found me, someone who on that particular day and for all kinds of particular reasons, needed some recharging. I pictured Beethoven grabbing me by the shoulders, shaking me, scowling and shouting, "Wake up! Wake up! Stand up! Shout! Smile! WAKE UP!" It was wild. I can't describe it any better than that, I'm afraid.
And I hope I never forget it.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Idea Box
I have a handmade, woven wood basket box-like thing with a flip-up lid (how's that for clear and concise writing?!?! sheesh) that sits on the bottom right shelf of my desk where I am perched now. My mother bought it for me at a craft fair my senior year of high school (which was not recently), and in the midst of a renewed popularity of The Grateful Dead (thanks MTV!), a very artistic friend of mine painted a perfect, green Dancing Bear in the bottom right hand corner. I've taken it to every place I've lived since then. When I look down past my right elbow right here in The Buff, I can see the little guy smiling up at me and "dancing." It makes me smile, too.
I am a taskmaster, to be sure, making lists, checking them off twice, and so on. But, since childhood, I have displayed a keen knack for finding 92 things to derail myself from the task at hand from time to time. Usually, it's because of two different reasons (which often act simultaneously): 1. I find the task at hand undesirable at the moment and/or 2. something occurs to ignite inspiration for other interests which have taken a back seat due to the task at hand. Right now, both are acting in tandem, and my Dissertation is at risk, I'm afraid.....
I love writing and really love research. And I love naps. Academia is for me! But, my Diss is bringing me down (#1 above)--I'm over it, not excited by it, need to do something about it, can't figure that part out, and so on--and, in my little mind, (#2 above) The Diss is preventing me from other projects. Of course! And, (#2 again) the weather is warm, I can see grass and sidewalks, I can stand outside without a parka, and I'm ready to go to Home Depot, rent a roto-tiller, buy some compost and get my garden going (yes, it's going to snow by the weekend but SO WHAT!??! Such truths have no impact on days like today...)
It is certainly not willpower or anything noble about myself that keeps me linked to reality on days like today. No way. Instead, my Dancing Bear box keeps me tied to today's task (Diss writing) and in The Chair more often than not, and I hope it proves itself once again.
This box is my Idea Box. It is filled to the brim with 3x5 cards and scrap paper containing scribbled words, phrases, and incoherent babble that, throughout the years, have blasted into my brain simply to wreak havoc and derail me. For sure. I don't dare LOOK IN THE BOX AND READ MY CARDS because I might as well as just call my dissertation adviser and bid her farewell. But, those cards are there. And more will be added today. Too many ideas. Get them in the box. I have pages of "research" to do.
The idea of the Idea Box was mentioned to me loooooong ago, I think. Oddly, I can't even figure out where or by whom, to be honest. Self-help seminar? Not sure I've ever attended one (and therein lies the rub....ha ha). Mentor? Perhaps, but who? Did I just come up with this on my own? Doubtful. But I like the ol' I.B. because it DOES help me stay on task, it allows me to get my little thoughts OUT of my head but doesn't cut them off either. It just allows them to percolate together as dancing ditties under the lid.
But most of all, I like the potential of the Idea Box, the gaze it has toward the future, the momentum it holds inside. I've been feeling badly about my dissertation, and with it being winter in The Buff (still, and perhaps forever!??!), I've been in a funk. Totally. I feel like I'm on a treadmill led by Microsoft Word documents that is a never-ending loop going nowhere. I'm just running running running typing typing typing.....I am not foolish enough to open the Idea Box and get going on some new (and MORE EXCITING) project nor am I going to Home Depot to buy fresh gardening gloves for AT LEAST a month....but sometimes, like this morning, like 2 minutes before I starting writing this post, I must look down to make sure that it is still there and grab some new 3x5-ers. Yes, my green bear is still dancing. My ideas are still dancing......maybe I am still dancing. Even in The Chair.
Ok, back to work.
I am a taskmaster, to be sure, making lists, checking them off twice, and so on. But, since childhood, I have displayed a keen knack for finding 92 things to derail myself from the task at hand from time to time. Usually, it's because of two different reasons (which often act simultaneously): 1. I find the task at hand undesirable at the moment and/or 2. something occurs to ignite inspiration for other interests which have taken a back seat due to the task at hand. Right now, both are acting in tandem, and my Dissertation is at risk, I'm afraid.....
I love writing and really love research. And I love naps. Academia is for me! But, my Diss is bringing me down (#1 above)--I'm over it, not excited by it, need to do something about it, can't figure that part out, and so on--and, in my little mind, (#2 above) The Diss is preventing me from other projects. Of course! And, (#2 again) the weather is warm, I can see grass and sidewalks, I can stand outside without a parka, and I'm ready to go to Home Depot, rent a roto-tiller, buy some compost and get my garden going (yes, it's going to snow by the weekend but SO WHAT!??! Such truths have no impact on days like today...)
It is certainly not willpower or anything noble about myself that keeps me linked to reality on days like today. No way. Instead, my Dancing Bear box keeps me tied to today's task (Diss writing) and in The Chair more often than not, and I hope it proves itself once again.
This box is my Idea Box. It is filled to the brim with 3x5 cards and scrap paper containing scribbled words, phrases, and incoherent babble that, throughout the years, have blasted into my brain simply to wreak havoc and derail me. For sure. I don't dare LOOK IN THE BOX AND READ MY CARDS because I might as well as just call my dissertation adviser and bid her farewell. But, those cards are there. And more will be added today. Too many ideas. Get them in the box. I have pages of "research" to do.
The idea of the Idea Box was mentioned to me loooooong ago, I think. Oddly, I can't even figure out where or by whom, to be honest. Self-help seminar? Not sure I've ever attended one (and therein lies the rub....ha ha). Mentor? Perhaps, but who? Did I just come up with this on my own? Doubtful. But I like the ol' I.B. because it DOES help me stay on task, it allows me to get my little thoughts OUT of my head but doesn't cut them off either. It just allows them to percolate together as dancing ditties under the lid.
But most of all, I like the potential of the Idea Box, the gaze it has toward the future, the momentum it holds inside. I've been feeling badly about my dissertation, and with it being winter in The Buff (still, and perhaps forever!??!), I've been in a funk. Totally. I feel like I'm on a treadmill led by Microsoft Word documents that is a never-ending loop going nowhere. I'm just running running running typing typing typing.....I am not foolish enough to open the Idea Box and get going on some new (and MORE EXCITING) project nor am I going to Home Depot to buy fresh gardening gloves for AT LEAST a month....but sometimes, like this morning, like 2 minutes before I starting writing this post, I must look down to make sure that it is still there and grab some new 3x5-ers. Yes, my green bear is still dancing. My ideas are still dancing......maybe I am still dancing. Even in The Chair.
Ok, back to work.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Boss and The Bowl
I've been reading all sorts of comments about the performance by Bruce Springsteen during the Superbowl half-time show last night. I sort of watched it live while at a party, and initially thought he did a good job. After reading the criticism aimed at The Boss this morning, I watched it again (I DVR'd it at my house), and really have to laugh at people who more easily criticize something to make themselves feel good instead of finding any merit in it. The latter can be more difficult as it is ALWAYS easier to just simply dump on something rather than look for positive attributes....for some wacky reason, finding fault in others makes us feel better about ourselves, doesn't it? So, to those who want to criticize Bruce for doing his thing yesterday, I just want to say, "Be quiet, you ninny. You didn't get it. You are really, really irritating."
I am not a huge Bruce fan, but I like him and most of his music. I've seen him live three times and enjoy his shows. I think Devils and Dust is an amazing, haunting and beautiful record. But, I could easily never hear "Glory Days" again and live a normal life, too.
So, to recap last night, Bruce played for 12-minutes: "Tenth Avenue Freezeout," "Born to Run," "Workin' on a Dream," "Glory Days." Bruce likes to be funny, goofy, and understands the spectacle of show business. He is a showman who often sings songs about heavy hitting topics ("Radio Nowhere," perhaps) just as easily he can throw down a stereotypical rock anthem ("Born to Run"). He's got a quirky sense of humor and creates a "show" around his show. Hence, the referee last night, his banter with Little Steven, the call to put down our chicken fingers and join the fun, etc. AND, what better spectacle to let it all hang out than the friggin' Superbowl. I have no complaints with his stage antics at all. If you do, lighten up.
And, no, I was not suprised nor disappointed that he didn't play "Born in the U.S.A." My opinion of the event would have changed significantly if he had, actually. At the party I attended last night, most people said they thought he would play it, should play it, and expressed dissatisfaction because he didn't. While I think that Bruce's songs--in general--and his continued alliance with the workin' man absolutely contain political overtones, I think many of us miss the dark irony in "Born," a song that is very CRITICAL of America in a sarcastic manner. It is not a cheerleading anthem to our greatness....and the fact that Ronald Reagan thought so and used it in his campaign (which Bruce protested) STILL cracks me up. Anyway, if Bruce had sung that last night, I would have been convinced right now that he really HAD lost it after all. Since he didn't, I am more confident that Bruce is a smart showman who understands his role as a musician much more than most of us can (I will say, however, that I am confused by the Wal-Mart thing. Very contradictory. I think he'll try to get out of it. But, AC/DC did it too and survived without a scratch.). Next.
Another criticism stems from the number of people he had on stage. Yes, it was a lot. SO WHAT? It was a party up there. Like it was everywhere. Next.
He had a gospel choir up there for two minutes, another factor that one blogger called "a sin." Ummm, the original/recorded version of that song HAS A GOSPEL CHOIR IN IT. Oh, and the fact that he slid that same song into the mix, "Workin' On a Dream" (which is the first track of his new record) was called "cheesy." Let me get this straight....according to some critics, a musical artist who has a new record out and is hired to perform on the biggest entertainment event of the winter CANNOT promote his new record? What the fuck?!?!?! Give me one good reason WHY NOT!!! Oh, and I guess he can't make it sound like it really does (gospel choir) for fear of being called "overblown"? It's the goddamn Superbowl. It must be overblown. Next.
I guess why I'm so cranky today is that lately, when I read criticism about music or even what kind of news about music makes the national news (thinking of Jessica Simpson here..."weight-gain controversy"...um, really?!?!?!) I feel that critics and fans do not actually talk about the music. So, I will....
The E Street Band sounded great. All cylindars firing. Tight, organized, comfortable, confident. Having fun. Smiling. Switched gears from song to song like a well-oiled machine. So, good.
"Tenth Avenue Freezeout" suprised me as the show starter, and it's not my favorite tune, by far. But, its lazy, bluesy, romping rhythm was perfect for Bruce to interact with the crowd and warm them up. He didn't play guitar on that song and ran around the stage like a 22-year old. Awesome. So, good.
"Born to Run" is a classic and reaches all audiences and demographics. In fact, with all this snow around me and cabin fever surging through my veins, I would freely run along side Bruce to wherever he suggested. RIGHT NOW. So, good.
Closing with "Glory Days" makes a lot of sense. That game WAS the glory day for the whole damn football season, and it WILL be talked about over and over and over and over at small bars around the country for ever and ever and ever. And changing the lyrics to be more football-friendly (deemed "cheesy" by Bob the Blogger) was certainly better than singing about baseball at a FRIGGIN' FOOTBALL GAME. So, good.
The harmonies between the singers were balanced, even as they changed every song. Little Steven sounded like Little Steven, Patty like Patty and so on. Clarence Clemmens still manages to extract the most, um, unique honking out of this sax like he always has and that's what keeps the whole thing "real." Those musicians last night WERE the E Street Band in every way and did their thing. So, good.
So, to the critics who will speak up loudly so they can talk trash about Bruce Springsteen need to realize that Bruce will always be more famous, successful and admired than they ever will, no matter how snarky, clever or nifty their criticism can be. Music critics (many of them, anyway) often suffer from "never-gonna-be-a-rockstar-so-I'll-be-a-voyeur-instead" syndrome and love to tear down what they know they will never have. It's too bad and sad really.
Ahhhhh, ok. I'm done. I'm not usually this aggravated in my blogging, but whatever. These things happen. Bruce will be 60 this year. Good for him. Good for all of us. Next...
I am not a huge Bruce fan, but I like him and most of his music. I've seen him live three times and enjoy his shows. I think Devils and Dust is an amazing, haunting and beautiful record. But, I could easily never hear "Glory Days" again and live a normal life, too.
So, to recap last night, Bruce played for 12-minutes: "Tenth Avenue Freezeout," "Born to Run," "Workin' on a Dream," "Glory Days." Bruce likes to be funny, goofy, and understands the spectacle of show business. He is a showman who often sings songs about heavy hitting topics ("Radio Nowhere," perhaps) just as easily he can throw down a stereotypical rock anthem ("Born to Run"). He's got a quirky sense of humor and creates a "show" around his show. Hence, the referee last night, his banter with Little Steven, the call to put down our chicken fingers and join the fun, etc. AND, what better spectacle to let it all hang out than the friggin' Superbowl. I have no complaints with his stage antics at all. If you do, lighten up.
And, no, I was not suprised nor disappointed that he didn't play "Born in the U.S.A." My opinion of the event would have changed significantly if he had, actually. At the party I attended last night, most people said they thought he would play it, should play it, and expressed dissatisfaction because he didn't. While I think that Bruce's songs--in general--and his continued alliance with the workin' man absolutely contain political overtones, I think many of us miss the dark irony in "Born," a song that is very CRITICAL of America in a sarcastic manner. It is not a cheerleading anthem to our greatness....and the fact that Ronald Reagan thought so and used it in his campaign (which Bruce protested) STILL cracks me up. Anyway, if Bruce had sung that last night, I would have been convinced right now that he really HAD lost it after all. Since he didn't, I am more confident that Bruce is a smart showman who understands his role as a musician much more than most of us can (I will say, however, that I am confused by the Wal-Mart thing. Very contradictory. I think he'll try to get out of it. But, AC/DC did it too and survived without a scratch.). Next.
Another criticism stems from the number of people he had on stage. Yes, it was a lot. SO WHAT? It was a party up there. Like it was everywhere. Next.
He had a gospel choir up there for two minutes, another factor that one blogger called "a sin." Ummm, the original/recorded version of that song HAS A GOSPEL CHOIR IN IT. Oh, and the fact that he slid that same song into the mix, "Workin' On a Dream" (which is the first track of his new record) was called "cheesy." Let me get this straight....according to some critics, a musical artist who has a new record out and is hired to perform on the biggest entertainment event of the winter CANNOT promote his new record? What the fuck?!?!?! Give me one good reason WHY NOT!!! Oh, and I guess he can't make it sound like it really does (gospel choir) for fear of being called "overblown"? It's the goddamn Superbowl. It must be overblown. Next.
I guess why I'm so cranky today is that lately, when I read criticism about music or even what kind of news about music makes the national news (thinking of Jessica Simpson here..."weight-gain controversy"...um, really?!?!?!) I feel that critics and fans do not actually talk about the music. So, I will....
The E Street Band sounded great. All cylindars firing. Tight, organized, comfortable, confident. Having fun. Smiling. Switched gears from song to song like a well-oiled machine. So, good.
"Tenth Avenue Freezeout" suprised me as the show starter, and it's not my favorite tune, by far. But, its lazy, bluesy, romping rhythm was perfect for Bruce to interact with the crowd and warm them up. He didn't play guitar on that song and ran around the stage like a 22-year old. Awesome. So, good.
"Born to Run" is a classic and reaches all audiences and demographics. In fact, with all this snow around me and cabin fever surging through my veins, I would freely run along side Bruce to wherever he suggested. RIGHT NOW. So, good.
Closing with "Glory Days" makes a lot of sense. That game WAS the glory day for the whole damn football season, and it WILL be talked about over and over and over and over at small bars around the country for ever and ever and ever. And changing the lyrics to be more football-friendly (deemed "cheesy" by Bob the Blogger) was certainly better than singing about baseball at a FRIGGIN' FOOTBALL GAME. So, good.
The harmonies between the singers were balanced, even as they changed every song. Little Steven sounded like Little Steven, Patty like Patty and so on. Clarence Clemmens still manages to extract the most, um, unique honking out of this sax like he always has and that's what keeps the whole thing "real." Those musicians last night WERE the E Street Band in every way and did their thing. So, good.
So, to the critics who will speak up loudly so they can talk trash about Bruce Springsteen need to realize that Bruce will always be more famous, successful and admired than they ever will, no matter how snarky, clever or nifty their criticism can be. Music critics (many of them, anyway) often suffer from "never-gonna-be-a-rockstar-so-I'll-be-a-voyeur-instead" syndrome and love to tear down what they know they will never have. It's too bad and sad really.
Ahhhhh, ok. I'm done. I'm not usually this aggravated in my blogging, but whatever. These things happen. Bruce will be 60 this year. Good for him. Good for all of us. Next...
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